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USC, The Greatest College Team Ever?

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Since the end of the college football regular season, almost every major sports pundit in 49 states has been touting this years USC team to be the greatest collection of talent. Then there are some brilliant annalists that have decided to create fictional matches for this team. Boring! This is done every year. This year, ESPN has conjured up a little more creativity and put the 2005 USC team against the top 10 best college teams of all time. Despite a valiant effort to entertain us, this is still a yawner. Why all the fictional match ups? Would the best team in college have a chance against the worst team in the NFL? Who knows? How would Reggie Bush do against a defense from a different era? Who cares? All these fantasies are just so vanilla. If you're going to make up stuff, why not have a little fun with it and go all out? So I've decided to create some match up of my own. Here are my top 5 Fanciful USC Games.


5- USC vs. Indianapolis Colts
At 14-2, Colts have the best record in the NFL. This comes as no coincidence since any pro defence that faces them must be feeling the same overwhelming sensation as the college defences that face USC. Who do you stop? Who do you focus on? The colts have too many great hands on that team and E. James is with out a doubt one of the most reliable backs in the league. Besides from being a scoring machine, the Colts are trying something new this year called defense. I don't care what you say about the Patriots, these Colts are the complete all around package. However, now that the Colts are in the playoffs and winning in the pros means actual dollars, there's only a snowball's chance in Haiti that Coach Dungy wound even put his starters in at all. Sorry, when money speaks, people listen. Just ask Johnny Damon.
Score: USC(35)/2005Colts(24)


4- USC vs. Da Bears
I'll concede to the fact that this team had a nearly impenetrable defense. But with two Heisman Trophy winners on the offensive side of the team, no one has given the USC defence any love. USC has shut down safeties and a linebacking group that go hunting for run plays with a laser scope on their frickin 12 gauge. After reading that in depth analysis, you must be thinking that the game would end in a tie. Think again. The edge goes to USC. What is this edge? DVD footage. Da Bears come from an era of watching film of their opponents on those funny looking rectangle things. With today's technology, Matt Leinart can ask for all opponents plays on 3rd and short where the defense rushed 6 and the play was inside 35 and between the hash marks, and this would be delivered to him in a DVD for him to review within 20 minutes. Better prep means a better plan.
Score: USC(17)/1985Bears(13)


3- USC vs King Kong, Godzilla, Pepsi Machine, & The BurgerKing King
I don't even know why this match up made it so far up the list. Who came up with this team anyways? Sure you've got a gigantic lizard and a 25 foot ape, but what are they going to do to stop Reggie Bush? If they do have an answer for #5, what about LenDale White, Steve Smith, and Dwayne Jarrett? With only 4 players on their squad, I doubt USC will have much of an opposition by the 4th quarter. USC being the second half team that we've come to love, will turn on the afterburners to come from behind and squeak away with a victory.
Score: USC(20)/"The Fearsome Foursome"(18)


2- USC.o vs USC.d
How would a team fair against it's own counterpart? Well, let's see...
Score: USC(22)/USC(21) You decide who's who.


1- USC vs. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the armies of Armageddon.
Ha HA! Trick question... The Trojans ARE "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the Armies of Armageddon."
Score: See game #2

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